What do people consider red flags in relationships? Of course, everyone thinks of toxic behaviors, but how hard is it for people to recognize the signals of a toxic, controlling person before it’s too late?
How Would You Define Toxic?
Although a conscientious person is satisfied with himself, aware of the importance of working hard enough to avoid toxic people and at the same time to understand them, many people have fallen into this trap at least once in their lives.
That by no means makes the person we refer to as toxic wrong, but the person with the problems. We easily recognize these people by manipulating those around them, and when they apologize, we don’t feel the sincerity behind their voices.
They usually do not listen to anyone but themselves and are not generous with giving. However, expect a lot from you. Negative comments about you are common, and you feel bad at the end of each day.
No one should belittle your feelings. Also, negative people usually put themselves in the center of the universe. You would always find them considering themselves a better person than everyone else.
To them, this feeling of loss did not fall from the sky. A toxic person has often experienced the same pain on their skin that they are now inflicting on you. Kindly offer them to seek help from experts.
And, shall we dive a little into the explanation of controlling behaviors? What are they, and how can they harm people? Some women were tortured in their youth by more influential girls. They would drag them by the hair and call them ugly names.
Not a few men remember being humiliated because they didn’t play basketball well enough. Or because they liked school. How many such children later in life became controlling over others in the community?
Whether we are talking about workers, family or a loving partner, children who were bullies hardly stop being bullies later. They may not pull the other one’s hair or say that someone’s pimple is so awful that it makes them vomit, but here are a few signs that indicate a controlling person.
This person is constantly finding a way to criticize, and with it always comes drama. This person wants your undivided attention. He would often make up arguments as to why someone is not your company.
If you do not meet their expectations or do what they ask, they make you feel guilty. Jealousy has no limits when you are in any relationship with a controlling person. There are even records of some abusive behavior.
Such a person can not only physically harm you, but also make you feel worthless and ruin your life. People who love you sincerely will withdraw from your company.
Makes You Feel Guilty Saying ’No’
Many people have trouble respecting their own time, their boundaries and saying no. They constantly think that they are obliged to be available to everyone and always ready to help. That is how they feel because of past or current trauma.
When people cannot discern how to avoid toxic traits when they move towards them, they become grumpy and lose their identity. Healthy boundaries are not an option for toxic people. And to make matters worse, they make you feel bad because you refused something.
They’ll make you lie to avoid condemnation, or they’ll show up at your apartment unannounced to see if you really have much to do tonight. Very often, it will affect almost all decisions in your life and turn them into either negative or the way it works in their favor.
Recurring Envy and Jealousy
One of the red flags in relationships that you need to pay attention to is definitely jealousy and envy directed at you and other people around you. Negative comments about you and your friends, family or your partner are coming at you daily.
If they ask where you spent your time, with whom and how long your socializing lasted, then you are definitely struggling with an unrealistically jealous person. That will eventually distract you from both people and quality me-time.
Is it important to remind you how much this will shake your self-confidence and faith in good people? It will be hard for you to continue even when you understand how handling toxic traits in relationships works.
Forgetting and Ignoring
The first thing to do when someone gives you silent treatment is to give them the time they need to think. If nothing happened, though, then you should ask for an explanation. You don’t deserve it, and you need to know where you stand in every relationship.
Know that you are not obliged to ask anyone for attention and spend time on people who do not deserve it. It is difficult for people to learn how to avoid toxic traits. When someone ignores you for no particular reason, you are in doubt.
You think negatively. What could you do? Why aren’t you good enough? What’s wrong with you? You spend precious time on a person who does not deserve your time. Therefore, the world becomes a dark and sad place for you.
Physical or Verbal Abuse
While verbal abuse is most common in toxic relationships, it does not deviate from physical abuse, either. Most people are unaware when someone verbally abuses them because the consequences can have deep roots.
When someone humiliates you, calls you ugly names and vice versa, the signs are clear. And what about signs that you don’t recognize? The most common example we don’t see is when someone constantly criticizes you and calls it constructive criticism.
In fact, all that he does is give you a negative attitude about your choices and lifestyle. This person secretly degrades you and prevents you from reaching your highest potential.
It is clear that if someone threatens or physically hurts you, that relationship must end immediately. Whether it’s a love affair, a family member or a friend.
Why You Shouldn’t Invest in These People
Handling toxic traits in relationships is something only the strongest can survive. As such, they will try to help the person they care about. If a person persistently refuses help, he will leave without guilt.
Better safe than sorry. With the first realization of an unhealthy relationship, get away from the person. Many times, people stay in this relationship out of fear. Out of fear of loneliness, out of fear for that person’s life or their own. And sometimes they won’t end it out of habit.
Would someone who loves you deprive you of everything good in life? Would he abuse you and act like you’re a marionette? Sometimes even the manipulator firmly believes in his decisions, but that still does not mean that you are obliged to have anyone dictate the direction of your life.
We all deserve to live meaningful lives. Whoever prevents us from doing so and ridicules our goals is not worthy of us. Our incredible personality deserves to shine outside the mold in which a toxic person would put us.